According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
