If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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