i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
