Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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