i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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