I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
