I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
