Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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