Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
