Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
