Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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