First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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