You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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