she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
