i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize