just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So many bounce houses so little time
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
