i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
