I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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