i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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