The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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