i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
