I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Be still, my beating vagina.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
