If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My dick has a subreddit
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
