I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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