Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
