end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
