dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
