hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
