I wish I only lived at night.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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