Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize