The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize