just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
