you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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