pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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