you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
