I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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