one might say we're banned from that church
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
