..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
