I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No subtext here. People are naked.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
