I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
