Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
