im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
