i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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