So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
