I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
