Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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