I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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