Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
