My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
