Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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