I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
