hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
