just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
