She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
