I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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