I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize