everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
