Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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