i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
