Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize