In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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