'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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